Showing posts with label life. Show all posts

In a couple of days from now, my dreamy summer will feel miles away. Maybe not. I really hope not. It's been an amazing summer full of blue water, sore muscles, custom ice cream orders, pillows, Hawaiian ice, family parties, internet sales, aloe vera, laughter, purple + pink hair dye, (smelly meals from the downstairs neighbors) windy walks, long drives, and love.

I'm grateful for change. I'm even more grateful for gradual change. I have always been so awful at "Endings" or "Goodbyes" or "Last Times" [e.i. "The last time we'll..."] For some reason I've always felt acutely aware of them. And in being acutely aware of the last times, I got all misty and something inside me turned hot and mushy and melty and I focused on how it wouldn't be the same tomorrow as it is today, and felt it as a loss. I felt it as a death of that part of me. I realized, though, that that is a really bad way of appreciating the chapters of life.

Mourning the loss of the chapter you're still living is a waste of time. 

Mourning isn't gratitude. Instead, I'm trying to think not of how different it will be in the next few days when I move out of my summer apartment. I'm nudging my brain back to right now: Let the change happen. Don't worry about it happening or try to stop it from happening. Let it wash over me gradually, and remember that: I've shared this place, these sights, and these experiences with my important people and now I have these great memories. It's the old line, that I really do believe... "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened!" And also when all mental will power is fading, just distract yourself with all the details of something else in the future.. Like a Triathalon. Or school.

That's what I'm trying to do. I'm transitioning WITH my important people, we'll all change and keep alive and keep excited. I got tired of feeling empty. It's crazy how a little perspective can take you from feeling like you're losing something to feeling full and hopeful and smiley. It's the end of an era, and boy has it been a great ride. Bring on the next one!

Beautiful illustration by Amy Borrell.

This is my little buddy Allie getting to hug her great-grandpa. It's heart-warming to be able to see + capture things like this.
I had the chance to take pictures at my boyfriend's family reunion last month, and boy was it easy to snap this fun, good-lookin bunch! His mom put the whole thing together basically single-handedly. Some families came from as far as 3,000 miles away! It was great to see how happy everyone coming together made her. I'll be lucky if I can get in on this gene pool.

I just finished going back through all the journals and blogs I could remember writing in, and goodness gracious.. I have so much to be thankful for these days of my life! 

The times they are a-changin.

A lot of living has made me more grateful than ever.

And just a side-note (just kidding, it's a huge deal); Missy is getting married!! Wow. There are so many ways I'm feeling about it, but mostly I'm trying to buck up and get ready for the changes coming. I'm also trying to be the best Maid of Honor I can be!

I love my sister, and I really admire the two of them for going after what they want.


You've probably noticed I re-vamped the blog. Makes me feel refreshed.

I used to write much more personal things on this slice of the internet. Life gets complicated, and more and more people read my writings. For that I am both grateful and a little resentful. I think I've said something to that extent before, now that I think about it. But I just wanted to apologize because my very most favorite blogs are the ones that have no filters, people just say what they're thinking or what they've been living. They're honest and alive and refreshing.

I'm worried my blog is becoming boring, and less and less personal.

I've been sort of cataloging my days in my head by deciding on a quote from that day that kind of encapsulates (big word) everything I should/want to remember about it. Maybe I should start writing the quote from my day on flutterby. What do you think? Whenever possible, I'd also write about why I chose those words specifically. Sometimes it might not be a good idea though.

Previous day-quotes include:

"Why don't you expelliomus him?"
-Someone sweet, who knows I love Harry Potter, even though he doesn't love it himself... yet.
"I like Allie, Mom."
-A fellow Allie, who was unaware that I could hear her heartwarming words from the next room. Made me feel like a kid again.

"..."
-Daisy, my pup. She can't talk, but we sat on the porch in the sun last week, and she made my day just by wanting to snuggle in on me out there.

"If you're a bird, I'm a bird."
-The same someone sweet, when I didn't believe he could give me a line from The Notebook.

"What a useless post," I think to myself before I even begin it. Let me apologize in advance for what is sure to be a useless post. I just miss blogging.

Here's my update in list form:

Navajo Mountain was a huge success in every way!
School is staring soon and my schedule is coming together finally.
I'm tired.
I've moved again.
I'm kind of a cluttered mess.
I'm craving learning experiences.
I'm looking forward to an upcoming road trip.
I'm singing for an audience soon and I'm nervous, I feel like I'm very out of practice.
I've been feeling so inadequte and intimidated by the silliest things, while at the same time feeling really confident and emotionally self-reliant.

Confusing.

pretty sure photo is via  Jake Garn

In a little while I'm going to be living in the Navajo Nation for a week. I'll be helping build houses. Two of them.

Anyway, this will be me:

So... I met with my potential landlords yesterday and... they were crazy. Basically, they tried to make me feel like a criminal for not going to BYU and having no rental history. Also, they tried to charge me extra fees for those reasons. So the house I was hoping to live in is not a viable option at this point. I'm still on the hunt though. I'm getting pretty tired. As Missy put it, "She's running herself ragged." I have been super busy lately, but I'm still happy! I have the best people around me and I feel like I can do anything right now. I'm not gonna lie though, it's starting to feel like there aren't enough hours in a day. Bleh. I feel so old saying that.

Anyway, I'm pretty sure I'm still moving out this summer. Everyhting will work out, I still got some steam power! That having been said, I've got to start staying on a pretty tight budget. I've always loved being organized and I think being on a tight budget and working a little more will actually make me happy! I always think about being a newlywed (whenever that day comes) and beng scrapped for cash and running through numbers and agreeing on a budget with my husband and just being so in love and poor and starting our life together... and I get so excited.

So, if all goes fairly well, I'll be doing exactly that! Minus one husband. So it'll be easier to budget for one, right? Even if it's going to be crazy and stressful, I'm keeping the attitude of excitement and proving myself to... myself. It's gonna be fun. I might even start using coupons?

Updates to come, so stay tuned!

One last thing, did anyone else ever play this game as a child?

Howdy!

I've been changin up my hair in recent days. Bit by bit. Wanna see?

I never had any appreciation for the phrase "strappy heels" until literally two days ago. I've been scouring internet shops and real life shops, for who knows how long, for what I'm pretty sure are called "T-Strap Heels" And that search turns up little and sometimes nothing. Bummer!

But I started searching "Strappy Heels" and my searches have been much more hopeful. Not to the point where I've found my new little shoe loves yet, but things are looking up!

I don't know why, but so far, these are the closest I can get! Help me! I can never find any in my size, in stock!

Slacklining is something I attempted last summer. It is so much fun! It's a little scary and a lot difficult, but so fun! I've only ever done it at the park, and frankly, don't really want to do it anywhere else unless I get VERY VERY GOOD! I think I can get pretty good, but probably not very very good. Haha. Sometimes people do it high up in the air. Then it's called highlining. I'm just a humble "slackliner". (In quotes cause I'm not really that great yet) No highlining for this girl. Over water might be kinda fun though.

What the heck is slacklining?

You've probably seen it. People find a place to tie a slackline (usually between two trees) and walk across it like a tightrope. You can do fancy schmancy tricks too! It's all about balance.

Um, check out these insane skills.


I will never EVER be that good, but I have lots and lots of fun with my friends doing it anyway!

I'm hungry for a green, sundrenched world. I get glimpses of the sundrenched bit here and there, but the bitter cold pops right back in to freeze my tiny bones. Don't get me wrong, I love wearing scarves and coats and boots and layers. And sometimes the ice sparkles in the air catch my eye on my daily drives and I'm glad it's winter.

Cause winter is beautiful.
But like I said.

I'm hungry for a green, sundrenched world. In the mean time, I'll stay warm somehow with the people I love, look at photos like this, and daydream about future playdates in the park.

I love looking through old photos from my photography class days. Little did I know when I took this years and years ago that I would end up driving this road at least four times daily.

I kinda love laundramats. Coin laundries. Don't you!?



They're just so strange, slightly uncomfortable, and completely logical. You bring all your intimates (literally) and basically showcase them to whoever might happen to walk in with need of cleaning their intimates as well. You're at the mercy of the machines. Everyone sits. Everyone waits. Everyone folds. Everyone watches each other surreptitiously and sometimes not-so-surreptitiously.

Then everyone leaves with their fluffy (somtimes static-cling-filled) clean clothes.

Ahhh.. So much fun.

Photo credits coming soon for those curious few..